My Firm Grip

Genesis 32:24-32

All my life all I ever wanted to do is something big, I've just always wanted to expand my boundries beyond what my little hometown,state, and country could hold. I've dreamed the biggest dreams that a mind could withstand, and the pressure of those large wishes have torn and ripped at my soul as the years have went by and I feel as if I haven't completed any of those admirations. One of my biggest fears is that I'll reach my elder age and look back and realize I have done nothing, which I would consider a large failure and I've never took losing well in my life, but today I sat and thought about my life and it's shortcomings. I thought about the 7 year old kid that dropped back in the pocket with his ole football. Who threw towards his moma's bush on the far end of the yard and when he finally hit the bush he would jump up and down pretending that his best friend Jacob caught the winning touchdown pass to bring home the state trophy for his beloved Bibb Graves Bulldogs. In which he would eventually watch those dreams fall short while playing for another school and losing in triple overtime to a team that he had help beat 47-6 during the season. Then I thought of how he had watched the Tigers of Auburn and wished to play for them so often when he was young. Only to get the opportunity to play and watch that dream fall apart due to his lack of ability to do well on standardize test. Then I went on further to remember Major Lightfoot sitting directly across from him with tears in his eyes as he told him, "Mr. Thomas you tried to late and the other cadets are way out in front of you." as his dream of making the coveted NASA astronaut program met its end in Air Force building that day. Then I thought about other people, like my mother who lost her best friend and lover 13 years ago, and how she has woken every mourning to an empty pillow knowing that the most perfect person for her no longer lived. Then I thought about one of my closest friends who just watched who he thought was the love of his life and his precious baby girl walk away just because the mother of his child thinks she's too young to settle down. As tears fill my eyes now, they make me know that my selfish failures mean nothing, I shall overcome the lack of my self called achievements in my life right now and wrestle this world that continues to break my heart and the people I love hearts. I shall graps like Jacob did as that angel slung him left to right and right to left and crushed his bones, and just like Jacob my spirit shall not succumb because when this life ends all that will remain is not what I accomplished but the good fight and the faith that I have in a savior who was hung by the hate that this world had for him. So let the winds of uncertianty come, let waters rise, let fire fall and burn all that it will, I shall not be stop for my firm grip is not of this world but comes from the power the savior has given me and I shall suceed at whatever he has predestined for me to be! God Bless those with Broken Hearts, God bless You and God Bless These United States of America.