The Small Things

There is something that always take us down, I don't care who you are and how holy you are, there is this one thing that you can't beat no matter how hard you try to dominated it. That one sin, that one mess up, that one uh oh, or OMG that as long as you can remember has led to you finding some kind of disbelief in the one true God, and leads to a network of future sins. For instance a huge problem in my life has always stemmed from the lost of my father, not that its my fault or its because of my sin that he is no longer with me. Since I lost my father I've been hell bent to find a mate so I could make sure that I wouldn't experience the nights of loneliness that I witness my mother go through. Due to the fact that he left this world early in my childhood, I would say that my life has lacked a manly presences. I was raised by three woman at different stages of their life. I had a sister who was in high school and college, a mother at middle age and a grandmother. So to often I depend on women, a lot of my life has been defined by the girl I'm dating and when they leave, my world is shattered because my girls, My mother and such has always been there. I also confide in women way too often, for the most part the girls in my life has always known more about who I am then the men in my life and that's not right. I didn't know that it wasn't right until recently when God confronted me through my own actions. He set a scenario that the devil had a trap in and I fell right into it. The beautiful thing about this misery that I'm going through now as I wait to leave this trap is that he is changing me for the better. Females is my problem they should not be as high of a priority that I make them and I'm going to change that now. Knowing that, I'm more than eager to have a son, so I can make sure he knows what I didn't know, and have the manly guide that I didn't have. The thing about tragedies and traps in our lives is that they give us scars that become souvenirs we never lose and those scars remind us that our past is never that far away. I once heard a song state so truly that, "To live is to suffer but to survive is to find meaning in that suffering." To often we let our sufferings define us and that's where our one thing we can't defeat develop. By trying to be in control of my life and being so aggressive in going after girls, dreams, and materialistic things I lose myself and my purpose. Jesus used the perfect parable to describe this wondering and losing of self in John. He says something to the effect of I am the shepherd, who watches his flock and when one of mine stray from the pack they wonder towards the evil one. That's what we do when the littlest of things distracts us from the path we were made to tread. Just the hope of being a mother one day can lead to a unhealthy relationship that can find pregnancy before marriage, just one drink can lead to addiction that takes years to break, and the dream of marriage can turn into a deep lust that's hard to shake. The smallest things can cause the biggest disasters. February 1st 2003 a shuttle filled with mothers, father, sons, and daughters made it's way back through the atmosphere that has protect us for so long, but that day it brought destruction. As the Columbia Space shuttle made it's way back home, a couple of tiles as big as the ones on your kitchen floor was broken off as the shuttle entered space weeks ago and was now missing. These specially design tiles keep the bottom of the space shuttle from overheating and breaking apart, well on that day the smallest part of the ship led to one of the biggest tragedies in the history of the space program. The smallest things makes god withhold blessings from us and every time we miss a blessing it's a small tragedy in life. God has to know the blessings he give won't be wasted, he has to know you will use it to bring those in who are lost. Just like the parable of the talons, god gives us these things we treasure and it's up to us to bring the glory back to him. Some of the reasons the people who desire fame haven't found it is because fame defines their life not Jesus. The reason most girls can't find that happy ending is because the wedding ring and the story defines you and not Jesus. Some of the reasons those like me who seek that girl and can't have her is because she defines you and not Jesus. At the end of that parable above I mention from John. Jesus finishes by saying I will search for the lost lamb and save them from the evil one that stands at the gates of my pastures. Today me and you need to let that one thing go and not let the evil one lure us beyond the pack and through the gate where he awaits. He takes us past that gate and deeper and deeper into the woods where a small hill becomes a mountain range. For I can witness to that fact, I let the smallest thing like my mother, sister, and grandmother love lead to the trap in which I lie now: broken, apologetic, and humble. The Lord is speaking to us who are in the trap and beckoning us saying find me, look for me over those small things, search for me over the little things, Seek ye the kingdom of heaven and all those small sins will be erased and all of your small wishes shall be given. For there is great power in small things and great faith and praise is given to our god when we abandon them, only to get them back! May God bless you, may God bless these United States and may God bring the small things to our attention.